Your face is a jimmy john
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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