hell yes lets make some ravioli
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize