There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize