i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
