hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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