Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Im part way to drunk.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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