I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
