Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
