ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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