sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
