that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
