Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
