i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
