Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
