Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
