My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize