my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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