yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize