I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
