I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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