The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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