he puts the penis in happiness.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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