you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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