Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
