Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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