well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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