I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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