so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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