You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
