So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
