I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
