Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
