3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
