thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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