i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize