Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
