Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
