I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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