I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
