sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
