is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
