I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
