I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
