quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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