from now on my penis is your penis
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
