sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
