I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
