we have officially lost it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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