I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
