Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
