Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
