When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
