i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
