OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
