I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
