You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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