Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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