Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
