I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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