He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
