I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize