If that was your dad, he is hot
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize