HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
